Sunday, October 6, 2013

Priority #2 - My Husband: Revival

Recently, a friend recommended my listening to a message from a certain Hebrew roots minister.  The message was good, but by the end of the message, I found myself wondering what his wife would have said on the subject.  I felt like what he was teaching was a decidedly male response to a gender-less issue.  I looked at their website to see if there were any teachings from his wife, but I couldn't find any.  That day, I developed such a hunger to be fed by women's ministry.  Among Hebrew roots ministries, there just isn't anything with depth out there directed toward women.

Our ministry has grown to the point of being able to have our own women's meetings and I want to make sure I have something to share.  I don't believe in doing all the teaching, we can all grow from one another.  I began searching and reaching out to other sisters in Torah and then another amazing thing happened.  During Sukkot, my cousin texted me from two feet away and said, "Let's get the women together for our own breakout session.  I texted my husband, who was also two feet away,  so he could politely interrupt the speaker so we could leave.  LOL

It was amazing, it was painful, it was revealing, it was refreshing, but it was so NECESSARY!   So much so that my cousin wants us to get the two groups of women together quarterly.  Awesome!

Part of my search for women's ministry lead me to a program called Revive Our Hearts by a teacher named Nancy Leigh Demoss.  Because I taught on Abigail and David at our last women's meeting, I began to listen to her series of teachings on Abigail.  I have the message A Soft Answer saved in my phone.  I have been listening to the same message over and over and it has been stirring and reviving me.  She says, "When you have a heart full of love, you can say a lot and be a lot more effective than if you’re just being a contentious, domineering, controlling woman. You can say hard things to the most difficult men when you say them with a gentle and gracious spirit and with genuine concern and compassion."  Oh how I long to be THAT woman!  I recognize this kind of response can only come as a byproduct of the overflow of a heart that is totally surrendered to Yehovah.  

Recently, I played this video for my husband and our assistant congregational leader because I feel does a good job of illustrating the differences in male and female communication.  I was amused at the look of confusion on their faces.  They don't get it.  My husband has been married long enough to know how to pretend to get it.  LOL.  Male and female are two different elements of creation of Elohim and it is amazing that we have learned to communicate as well as we have, I think.  Sometimes my dog hops up and puts her front paws on my leg.  When I lean over and ask her what she wants, she just stares at me.  She would like for me to read her mind, but unfortunately, I can't.  Sometimes she goes away in frustration, running to shake the life out of one of her toys because she can't communicate to me what she wants.  That is how male and female communication can be at times, especially in the unfortunate event of H-A-L-T (too hungry, too angry, too lonely, and/or too tired).    

I recognize that men rarely understand all the thoughts that are conveyed in a woman's words, but a woman's actions can effectively break through that communication barrier.  The phrase "actions speak louder than words" would certainly be applicable here.  I have been teaching my daughter the same thing.  Don't come to Daddy with, "Please let me go see Suzy because she's leaving for three weeks and she's my best friend, well not my first best friend but my other best friend, and I haven't spent time with her in like forever and I'm so going to miss her because I'll only be able to text her because where she's going there might not be internet and Facebook won't be available (sniff, sniff)...."    He's not going to hear you.  You will have wasted all of those words because he will only be focused on whether or not your room is clean.      

So at this point, I am revitalized in my excitement to communicate with my husband in ways other than words, through my cooking, through my touch, through my availability in a crisis, through my listening ear.  I am excited to make first contact -- again!  To boldly go where no woman has gone before --  okay, I'm getting carried away.  

I leave you with a scene from one of my favorite Star Trek TNG episodes where Captain Picard is having to learn to communicate with another humanoid life form who communicates only within their cultural legends.