I have been giving some thought to of putting Donalacasa's Daybook on the shelf indefinitely. The format no longer works for me. I am no longer a SAHM or a WAHM.
I miss my old life, homeschooling, transcribing (except for working for Nuance. I will never miss working for Nuance), and driving my kids around. When leaving the YMCA the other day, I saw a mother and a karate-uniform clad 9 or 10-year-old son heading in. I knew she was probably trying to get a workout in while her son was occupied. My children's karate school was a 5-minute drive up the road from the Y. I remember doing the same thing. But I have to face the reality of the transition my life has taken as well as the changes in some of my relationship dynamics.
Changing the format of my blog is a part of that. My priorities have shifted as far as time goes, but they are still the same. My prayer is that I will speak a word that SOMEONE needs to hear. Someone who needs to be reminded to cherish every day because it goes by so quickly; someone who is also having to reinvent themselves from mom into a new role in life.
The other great thing about blogging in this format is that I can schedule posts far in advance so that the feelings that I am dealing with in a post have happened and are far past. That will give me some emotional privacy from people who know me best inquiring about situations before I have fully processed them. That has been a hindrance in getting my Daybook out. So many emotions as I have physically entered midlife. But at the same time, I can still share my heart and whatever the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) wants me to share. I actually started this blog post on April 5th!
In the keeping of biblical Feast season, we are in the Counting of the Omer. If you follow the link, you will find me teaching on the Counting of the Omer being our season of gratitude. I have had so many challenges to gratitude this season. Even coming up the stairs and seeing a huge rat snake looking through my window. It's hard to think thankful thoughts when you learn for the first time in your 50+ years of life that snakes can climb brick walls. Maybe the challenges come every Omer season.
This season I developed a health challenge that was more painful than labor. I learned that it is easy to become despondent and unable to think straight when you're in pain, especially when you don't know the length of time you're going to be in pain. All kinds of things go through your mind. By the way, who ever thought putting diagnoses and prognoses on Google and YouTube was a good idea? They'll have you on paralyzed on disability for the rest of your life.
It is hard to remember to be thankful when you're in pain. One thing the emergency room staff reminded me of before I left them was that I have the most amazing support system. Friend Hubby dropped me off at the ER on hi sway to get Crown Prince Sanban who was having car trouble. The Grand Duchess met us there to keep an eye on me. She was my "person." They already had her down as my secondary emergency contact. Princess Butterfly left work early and came to sit with The Grand Duchess. She was her "person." One complication that arose was that the doctor whom we needed to speak with was not able to be reached by phone. The emergency room staff could do nothing for me but control the pain so over the following week my family cared for me when I was on bedrest for days and days. The Grand Duchess took off from work the first day. Crown Prince Sanban stayed with me when everyone else had to leave. Even the staff in the state representative's office was calling Princess Butterfly to find out how I was doing. Friend Hubby had to cancel our anniversary trip as well as the homeschool conference I was scheduled to attend. It was weird, having always been the family's caretaker, not being able to care for myself and having our roles reversed. In the past few weeks, we have seen my mother-in-law thriving in my sister-in-law's care instead of wasting away in a nursing home. The tender loving care of family is far superior to any pharmaceutical on the market.
While we were in the emergency room, I was so thankful for a weird gift I have. It is one inherited from my mother. If I ever needed to have a side hustle, I would make a great private detective. I find people. Sometimes it takes some a convoluted route to do, but I eventually find them. I have passed down that gift to The Grand Duchess as well. Once the pain medicine began to work, she and I looked up employees of the doctor's office on LinkedIn, then looked them up on Facebook. We finally found a phone number with a voicemail that forwarded to another number. That number forwarded to another number with a voicemail. Eventually, the final voicemail led to an email. The Grand Duchess used her very official email address to get the woman to call her back post haste. She was able to contact the doctor, which put me on the road to recovery, but believe you me I gave that young physician a dressing down for not being reachable. He must have thought I was overreacting initially until he tried his own answering service at the close of business the next day. He identified himself on his own office answering machine and requested the answering service call him back. They did not.
A couple of days later he called to see how I was feeling. I listened while he was likely talking to himself as he explained how tragic it might have been if I had not known to get myself to the ER. I told him about when I was a new mother and I found out that a new trainee to the base clinic was DANGEROUSLY untrained and almost harmed Dancing Angel. When I reported him to the supervisor on duty, she said that she was thankful that I had been the one to catch it. I was well known in the clinic because I had volunteered there before my pregnancy. She said he could have harmed the infant of a mother who had several children in the clinic with her and was not as attentive. I told him I felt that perhaps that's why I was the patient to catch it. He called again a few days later but I missed the call. When I tried to call him back, there was a whole new voicemail message and when it was over, a live person picked up the phone and forwarded the message to him.
You can go and volunteer to serve in ministry to others or sometimes there is ministry that you don't get to volunteer for. You just have the privilege of being used in a situation where your grief, or misery, or misfortune causes others to be helped, even if you don't know when or why it's happening. Thankfully, this was not a permanent situation (although it certainly felt like it at the time, and you know, YouTube...). My suffering may have helped someone else in the future.
2 Corinthians 1:4-7 (TS2009) - "Blessed be the Elohim and Father of our Master יהושע Messiah, the Father of compassion and Elohim of all comfort, who is comforting us in all our pressure, enabling us to comfort those who are in every pressure, through the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by Elohim. Because, as the sufferings of Messiah overflow in us, so our comfort also overflows through Messiah. And if we suffer pressure, it is for your comfort and deliverance, being worked out in enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. If we are comforted, it is for your comfort and deliverance. And our expectation for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are sharing in the sufferings – so also in the comfort."
In the keeping of biblical Feast season, we are in the Counting of the Omer. If you follow the link, you will find me teaching on the Counting of the Omer being our season of gratitude. I have had so many challenges to gratitude this season. Even coming up the stairs and seeing a huge rat snake looking through my window. It's hard to think thankful thoughts when you learn for the first time in your 50+ years of life that snakes can climb brick walls. Maybe the challenges come every Omer season.
This season I developed a health challenge that was more painful than labor. I learned that it is easy to become despondent and unable to think straight when you're in pain, especially when you don't know the length of time you're going to be in pain. All kinds of things go through your mind. By the way, who ever thought putting diagnoses and prognoses on Google and YouTube was a good idea? They'll have you on paralyzed on disability for the rest of your life.
It is hard to remember to be thankful when you're in pain. One thing the emergency room staff reminded me of before I left them was that I have the most amazing support system. Friend Hubby dropped me off at the ER on hi sway to get Crown Prince Sanban who was having car trouble. The Grand Duchess met us there to keep an eye on me. She was my "person." They already had her down as my secondary emergency contact. Princess Butterfly left work early and came to sit with The Grand Duchess. She was her "person." One complication that arose was that the doctor whom we needed to speak with was not able to be reached by phone. The emergency room staff could do nothing for me but control the pain so over the following week my family cared for me when I was on bedrest for days and days. The Grand Duchess took off from work the first day. Crown Prince Sanban stayed with me when everyone else had to leave. Even the staff in the state representative's office was calling Princess Butterfly to find out how I was doing. Friend Hubby had to cancel our anniversary trip as well as the homeschool conference I was scheduled to attend. It was weird, having always been the family's caretaker, not being able to care for myself and having our roles reversed. In the past few weeks, we have seen my mother-in-law thriving in my sister-in-law's care instead of wasting away in a nursing home. The tender loving care of family is far superior to any pharmaceutical on the market.
While we were in the emergency room, I was so thankful for a weird gift I have. It is one inherited from my mother. If I ever needed to have a side hustle, I would make a great private detective. I find people. Sometimes it takes some a convoluted route to do, but I eventually find them. I have passed down that gift to The Grand Duchess as well. Once the pain medicine began to work, she and I looked up employees of the doctor's office on LinkedIn, then looked them up on Facebook. We finally found a phone number with a voicemail that forwarded to another number. That number forwarded to another number with a voicemail. Eventually, the final voicemail led to an email. The Grand Duchess used her very official email address to get the woman to call her back post haste. She was able to contact the doctor, which put me on the road to recovery, but believe you me I gave that young physician a dressing down for not being reachable. He must have thought I was overreacting initially until he tried his own answering service at the close of business the next day. He identified himself on his own office answering machine and requested the answering service call him back. They did not.
A couple of days later he called to see how I was feeling. I listened while he was likely talking to himself as he explained how tragic it might have been if I had not known to get myself to the ER. I told him about when I was a new mother and I found out that a new trainee to the base clinic was DANGEROUSLY untrained and almost harmed Dancing Angel. When I reported him to the supervisor on duty, she said that she was thankful that I had been the one to catch it. I was well known in the clinic because I had volunteered there before my pregnancy. She said he could have harmed the infant of a mother who had several children in the clinic with her and was not as attentive. I told him I felt that perhaps that's why I was the patient to catch it. He called again a few days later but I missed the call. When I tried to call him back, there was a whole new voicemail message and when it was over, a live person picked up the phone and forwarded the message to him.
You can go and volunteer to serve in ministry to others or sometimes there is ministry that you don't get to volunteer for. You just have the privilege of being used in a situation where your grief, or misery, or misfortune causes others to be helped, even if you don't know when or why it's happening. Thankfully, this was not a permanent situation (although it certainly felt like it at the time, and you know, YouTube...). My suffering may have helped someone else in the future.
2 Corinthians 1:4-7 (TS2009) - "Blessed be the Elohim and Father of our Master יהושע Messiah, the Father of compassion and Elohim of all comfort, who is comforting us in all our pressure, enabling us to comfort those who are in every pressure, through the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by Elohim. Because, as the sufferings of Messiah overflow in us, so our comfort also overflows through Messiah. And if we suffer pressure, it is for your comfort and deliverance, being worked out in enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. If we are comforted, it is for your comfort and deliverance. And our expectation for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are sharing in the sufferings – so also in the comfort."
