Priority #1 - My God - Celebrating at the Seder Table

Last night my husband and I attended our second Seder, this time with our 2 youngest children. Last year's Seder had only 1 child present, the rabbi's 12-year-old son. We learned much of the symbolism behind the Seder table but I was so nervous! You know I was raised Church of God in Christ. Stepping into the Hebrew roots of our faith felt like forbidden waters, almost as if you had invited me to attend a coven!

This year, we were supposed to go out of town for Passover, but decided at the last minute that it was not financially the best thing for us to do just now. So in my email, I found an invitation from a family to other homeschoolers in the city to attend a Seder at their home. We had never met them before. They were gentile messianic believers. Their other guests included Jewish-by-birth believers and some non-denominational Christians.

They're Seder was much more kid-friendly (seeing that there were so many children present. For the plagues, they had:

Blood: Poured water into a translucent pitcher with red Kool-Aid at the bottom to illustrate water being turned to blood.

Other plagues: At the table, at every adult place, there was a plastic baggie with plastic animals to represent the plagues. At this point in the story, we opened them and threw plastic frogs, gnats, flies, and locusts at the children.

Lice and boils: There were small black circle stickers and larger red circle stickers that we stuck on each other to represent the lice and boils.

Hail: We had baggies with ping-pong balls, but as a surprise, our hosts released some packing popcorn from the ceiling.

Cattle died: There were little plastic animals all over the table. We had to knock them over.

For darkness, we all had to be blindfolded. I got a great picture of my son with a fuzzy scarf tied over his eyes.

The table was also set in an "L" shape to represent "Egypt" and "Goshen." Of course Goshen was exempt from most plagues. LOL.

There were other kid-friendly portions of the Seder, including the 4 questions, and a cute-as-a-button little boy named Gabriel carrying a bag with matzoh on his back while another cute-as-a-button little girl named Chaya asked him where he was from "Egypt!" and where he was going, "Jerusalem!".

We didn't get home until 3 a.m. Leave it to our family to stretch totally out of our culture to try new things! My children told me today that they were afraid where were were going was going to be boring, but that they'd had a great time! Friend Hubby and I were able to add to our knowledge of Hebreic roots. I got to see a volume of Talmud for the first time with the mishnah, Gemara, and commentaries by famous rabbis such as Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac, otherwise known as Rashi. I have been reading Rashi's Daughters, and although it is historical fiction, I have learned a lot about Jewish culture and discerning between their interpretation of the Scriptures we call the Old Testament, and Jewish superstitions and mysticism such as the "Evil Eye", the demon Lillith, and other things.

I love learning new things. I pray that as long as I have a reasonable portion of health and strength and am enclothed in my right mind (there goes that COGIC coming out in me), that I may be ever learning about my Father's world.

"THE EARTH is the Lord's, and the fullness of it, the world and they who dwell in it." Psalm 24:1 AMP

Priority #6, My Ministry - What I've Learned

One of the most difficult things I have learned about ministry is how to let go when you've done all you can to help someone and you realize that other than pray (which is powerful in itself), there are some situations and even some people that you have to let go of and turn over to God. Sometimes the hardest walk is walking away, or at least moving yourself to a safe location so that the Lord can do what He does best, and so that the wounds that you incurred while trying to help them heal.

Wikipedia says that the "first step in rescuing a drowning victim is to ensure your own safety...Conscious victims may panic and thus hinder rescue efforts. Often, a victim will cling to the rescuer and try to pull himself out of the water, submerging the rescuer in the process...If the victim pushes the rescuer under water, the rescuer should dive downwards to escape the victim."

There are people that I love that I am not able to help because every attempt to reach out to them ends up with them pulling me under. When I first realized that I was not able to help them, I went through a period of brokeness and mourning for ME. How could they not accept help from ME??? Don't they know who I am??? Haven't they seen my business card??? I'm joking, I don't have a business card. But I learned to identify with Christ in that "He came to that which was His own, but His own did not receive Him." (John 1:11). Matthew 13:58 says that in His own hometown, "He did not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief." They just couldn't get past who they knew Him to be in the past. "Isn't that Mary and Joseph's boy?"

Friend Hubby and I were laughing one day about the fact that sometimes we seem to hear God better when we leave our hometown. We get in the car on a road trip and about an hour or 2 away, the words of prophecy just begin to flow. The saying is true that familiarity breeds contempt. Jesus' miracles were proliferate AWAY from those who knew His humanity best.

If you have ever been the victim of a control freak and then delivered, if you are wise, you will not put someone else in that same position and try to manipulate them into doing what you want, staying where you want them, remaining with whom you think they ought to remain with, or even the opposite trying to get the other person to leave where you want them or who you don't want them to be with. Think about that when people you love and want to minister to chose to go their own way. Remember that they can't get so far out there that God is not able to reach them. He's got some innkeepers along the way. We've just got to learn to trust that He loves those whom we love far greater than we do and He is a God who does exceedingly, abundantly, above all we can ask or think.

Though it sounds cliche, sometimes you really do have to "let go and let God."

Priority #5 Myself - Modesty

I always feel the need to apologize when I haven't blogged in a while. I'm sorry. Life got in the way of my blogging. LOL!

Today, the topic most on my heart is modesty. I want to see how the definition of modesty has changed over time.

According to Webster's 1828 Dictionary, specifically feminine modesty is defined as

"In females, modesty has the like character as in males; but the word is used also as synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor."

In Webster's 1913 Dictionary, the definition has been shortened to,

"Natural delicacy or shame regarding personal charms and the sexual relation; purity of thought and manners; due regard for propriety in speech or action."

Shorter still is the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language,

"Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior."

Is it just me, or have the standards of modesty decreased along with the words used to define it? LOL

I wonder if some dictionary would accept my modern interpretation of modesty. It is simply: If you are single, what is yours belongs to you alone. If you are married, you are your beloved's and your beloved is yours alone.

Some Scriptures pertaining to modesty:

Song of Solomon 6:3a (CJB), "I belong to the man I love, and he belongs to me"

Genesis 2:25 (NIV), "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."

Exodus 20:26 (AMP), "Neither shall you go up by steps to My altar, that your nakedness be not exposed upon it." (This verse is speaking of nakedness in the house of worship).

Proverbs 11:22 (NIV), "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion."

I Peter 3:3,4 (AMP), "Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; but let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God."

Each of us has to find our own balance in the area of modesty. There will always be two ends of the spectrum, those who feel that modesty is an outdated chauvinistic ideal and those who believe that modesty entails homeliness.

I believe the more time you spend in the Word, the more you will find the balance that is fitting for your unique calling. Your standard for modest does, and should change over the decades and seasons of your life. There were, in my past, red spiked heeled pumps with a fan on the side that I would have worn to catch my husband's eye when we were courting. The same shoes a few years after marriage would have been impractical and unwise when I had a baby on my hip and a toddler by the hand. Later when my vanity took a hit because I was now the mother of a teenager whose modern version of my red pumps seemed silly to me, until I remembered my own. Then there was the vanity of having a child ready to leave the nest and wondering if there is still time to were the red pumps for a little longer until age catches up to me and I have to trade cute for comfort.

Where does your heart lie on the spectrum of modesty? Do you feel it is outdated -- the bustier the better? Do you feel that the only real modesty there is would be to wear a burqa? Search the Scriptures and search your hearts. Allow the Lord to give you His standard for your modesty according to His calling on your life (you ARE walking in your calling, are you not?), "I the Lord search the mind, I try the heart, even to give to every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings." Jeremiah 17:10 (AMP)

Priority #4 - My Home - Shabbat Shalom

Over the course of the past year or so (longer for Friend Hubby) we have been on a journey to explore in depth the Hebraic roots of our Christian faith. In our experience, our studying has led us to being more family-centric (not that we weren't already family oriented, as most who know us in the flesh know), but I am a person who likes to be busy. I fill our family calendar up to the max. Over the course of the past few months, we have been making a greater attempt to keep the sabbath. The original sabbath, not the one changed by the early church to distance itself from the Jews who became a most hated people in the early days of the institutionalized Christian church. My daughter loaned me a book to read this weekend called The Fruit of Her Hands by Michele Cameron. There is an exchange in this book between a Jewish young girl and her Christian nursemaid who is about to be married.

I wanted to attend her wedding. But she knit her lips together and would not tell me when it would be.
"But I want to come -- I can walk before you with a basket of spring flowers!"
"Up the aisle in the church, Shira?" she asked, eyebrows raised.
"Why not?" I persisted.
Jeanne sighed. "You would upset everyone, Shira -- I shudder to think what my husband's family would say, seeing a Jew in front of the Holy Mother and her Blessed Son."

ROTFLOL! Hellooooo!

While we are very clear that no "act" can purchase our salvation for us, we also believe that the Torah (Old Testament) is an instruction manual. It is a message from our Father teaching us HOW to love Him. As Christians, we have picked over which portions of the Old Testament apply to us. We want to claim all of the "I will"'s without going through the "If you will"'s.

That said, we have begun to embrace and sanctify the sabbath in our home. Because this is not a habit for us yet, every week, we see room for improvement. My goal is to have all the housework and laundry done, be caught up on my lines (I'm a medical transcriptionist), and have a meal prepared for Friday night's dinner, Saturday's breakfast and lunch. After lighting our candles and having our communion meal of challah bread (no it doesn't have to be challah, like I said, we are just learning and trying new things), and grape juice, we have great discussion with our children over the past weeks' Torah portion. A couple of websites we have found helpful in our learning have been

http://www.toraportions.org

and

http://www.hebrew4christians.net

Granted, we do live in America and not Israel, so life does not completely stop for us some Saturdays. Our son is in karate, our daughter works in fast food, and all of our children are in scouting. We are not always able to keep completely still for those 24 hours but we are making as much effort as possible to try!

Each week, I am understanding more fully the phrase, "Shabbat Shalom (sabbath peace)."

Blessings!

Priority #3 - It's THAT Time of Year

It is THAT time of year. While all the world is celebrating the birth of our Savior (or some pagan association with it), I am mourning my firstborn who would have turned 20 years old today. The day is both bitter and sweet. So much so, that my husband even TOLD me to blog. LOL! I am thankful that she left this world at peace with her family. We look back on our lives together as a whole family and have no regrets. There were no expressions of love left unsaid. No unfinished arguments. Just memories full of laughter and family togetherness.


My Diva has had a difficult season, but I pray that the resiliency that is characteristic of our family will be with her now and stay with her where ever she goes. I pray that she will never close her heart to love, even when the possibility of pain is present. I pray that her heart will always be soft towards the Lord and that wisdom and discernment will never depart from her.


Boy Wonder is a joy to me. He leans his head on me like he did as a baby, and then in the next moment he will gross me out by showing me a picture of a roasted guinea pig in Peru and then laugh at my reaction. He recently won 4th place in a homeschool geography bee. I'm so proud of him. I pray that the Lord will give him health, strength, and a long life. I pray that he will be the family man that his father is.


Princess Butterfly is my baby. She just turned 10 and I feel like the world has opened up for her. She'll be getting a military ID card this week. It is a rite of passage for military kids. I pray that she will learn to overcome her tendency toward disorganization. Lord knows it's still a challenge for her mama. I pray that she will be wise and discerning and not cast her pearls before swine. I pray that she will always use her gifts to bless the people of God.

Blessings!

Priority #2 - My Husband - Sing Unto the Lord

One of Friend Hubby and my favorite things to do together is sing. On Saturday after our garage sale, I found an old song book from a choir we sang in back in the early 1990s in Germany called the Anointed Voices.



Our head director (Friend Hubby was assistant director) had put together a booklet of our repertoire with all the lyrics. It was in a box I found in the garage that we'd kept all these years.

Some of our favorites include lyric that say things like:

"I shall wear a crown when it's all over. I'm going to put on my robe, tell the story how I made it over..."

"Are you ready? Are you ready? For the coming of the Lord!"

"Make a joyful noise all ye people. Sing a song to the Lord of His goodness, love and His mercy, sing a song unto the Lord."

"If you want to be born again, say-a-a, say-a the word!"

So many songs reminded us of our season in Germany, reminded us of what the Lord brought us through and how we are still able to be standing even today. God has been so good to us!

We started singing the songs together in the driveway. If we can sing on a cold street corner in Klatovy, Czechoslavakia, we certainly don't have a problem singing in suburban central Texas!

One thing we noted was that songs that are played on urban gospel radio stations today do not have the same themes as what we sang about then. Today's lyrics say things like:

"Let's get back to Eden, live on top of the world."

"Enough is enough, I'm taking back my stuff. I'm taking back what the devil stole from me."

"Get your inheritance."

Do you see the difference? We used to sing about HIM and HIS kingdom. Now we sing about our own kingdoms.

We have recently been attending a small fellowship of believers who are researching the Hebrew roots of our Christian faith. The more I read to my children and we have discussions about the history of the Roman festival of Saturnalia and the customs of the ancient Catholic priests of trying to win converts among the Druids by mixing some of the "old" with the "new" and how much of the "old" which never actually left, I am hungering for truth, authentic, and in it's simplest state.

Friend Hubby and I have always been on a different path than those around us. It seems as though that is where we are now as well. The only thing we can do is to keep singing and keep trusting in our Lord who is leading us into uncharted territory for us. I just know that in the churches I have attended in the past few years there is too much Me-Me-Me and not enough Him-Him-Him.

"Hallelujah, salvation and glory, honor, and power unto the Lord our God. For the Lord our God is mighty. Yes, the Lord, our God is omnipotent. The Lord our God, He is wonderful!"


Blessings!

Priority #1 - My God - Pilgrim's Progress

I have discovered Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan. You would think that in my 17 years of homeschooling that I would have read this book, but it is new to me. It was first brought to my attention in a sermon I listened to online by Chuck Swindoll. He told of the main character's fall into the Slough of Despond. It caught my attention because I am well acquainted with the place. I have too have gotten stuck there many a time. I also wanted to read it because Princess Butterfly is studying the Pilgrims and the Puritans at this time.

I got the complete unabridged version of the book but I thought I would share it with my children so I found a kid's translation at the library.

As I was reading to my children one particular section stood out to me the other day, in light of all I have endured this past summer. It was a conversation between Christian and Apollyon. Just like it says of the Devil in Revelation 12, "Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, “Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down," Apollyon brings up the things that Christian has done wrong:

"When, Apollyon, have I been unfaithful to Him?"

Apollyon leered and came another step closer. "When you almost failed in the Slough of Despond. When you tried disloyal ways of removing your burden. When you almost turned back at the sight of the lions. When you took pride in telling of your so-called victories at the Palace Beautiful."

"All this is true," admitted Christian, "and much more that you have left out. But the prince that I serve is merciful and ready to forgive."

I have asked the Lord to help me forgive my relatives. It is a daily thing. At this point, I forgive as an act of will, but I don't want to see them or communicate with them. I just want to be left alone. My neighbor said to me, "This is not what I expect of you." This same neighbor has watched me live through the unemployment of my husband, the death of my daughter, and the taking in of my nephew. You know what? This is not what I expect of me either. I thought I was strong enough to take the false accusations, the vicious slander, my private life being open to public scrutiny, and still make myself available to her. I'm not. But thankfully, I don't have to be. "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

The grace that I have for today keeps me from dishonoring her with my mouth. In spite of all the pain that I carry, other than a couple of close friends, Friend Hubby, and My Diva, I don't speak of her at all. Better I should say nothing than to sin with my mouth. I may not do everything right, but I'm trying to do SOMETHING right.

Finally, I was able to find an abridged radio drama of Pilgrim's Progress. It takes the monotony out of my work to listen to it between reports.

I received a blessing this week. A total stranger, sent me a book that I've been needing for Boy Wonder's curriculum. I had ordered the book a couple of times from Amazon and twice was sent the wrong book. This woman asked me to allow her to bless me with the book for free. How incredible is that? When I received the book and unwrapped it, inside there was a card that read:

"The Christian life is not one chain of successes, victories, and triumphal marches - It's warfare against the forces of the Evil One. Praying that you will be strong and courageous in the daily battle." Isn't that a blessing? And for a change, to have another Christian sister, rather than scold and tell me what THEY think I should do about my situation, to just simply acknowledge my fight. That THEY see that my battle is not with flesh and blood but with the enemy of my soul, and though I have fallen, I am not defeated, nor is the battle over.

Pray my strength in the Lord!

Blessings!