Priority #3 - My Children - Parenting Advice from the Book of Sirach

ON TEACHING OUR CHILDREN TO BE SELF-SUFFICIENT:
Sirach 40:28-30 GNT

"My child, don't live the life of a beggar; it is better to die than to beg. If you have to depend on someone else for your food, you are not really living your own life. You pollute yourself by accepting food from another. Begging is torture to the soul of any sensitive person. A shameless person can make begging sound sweet, but something inside him burns."

ON TEACHING OUR CHILDREN SELF-RESPECT
Sirach 10:28-31 GNT

"My child, keep your self-respect, but remain modest. Value yourself at your true worth. There is no excuse for a person to run himself down. No one respects a person who has no respect for himself. Poor people can be honored for their good sense, and rich people can be honored for their wealth. If someone is honored while he is poor, think how much he will be honored if he becomes rich! If someone is despised while he is rich, think how much more he will be despised if he becomes poor!"

A VERSE FOR HOMESCHOOL PARENTS (SMILE)
Sirach 11:10 GNT

"My child, don't get involved in too many things. If you try to do too much, you will suffer for it. You won't be able to finish your work, and you won't be able to get away from it either."

Sirach 7:23-25 GNT

"If you have sons, educate them. Teach them self-discipline while they are young. If you have daughters, keep them virtuous, and don't be too indulgent with them. When you give your daughter in marriage, you have finished a great task, but give her to a sensible man."

A SENSE OF DECENCY (teaching our children to blush!)
Sirach 41:16-23

"My children, listen and I will teach you the circumstances when it is proper to be ashamed. Sometimes it is entirely out of place.

Before your parents, be ashamed of immoral behavior.
Before a ruler or an important person, be ashamed of a lie.

Before a judge, be ashamed of criminal behavior.
Before a public assembly, be ashamed of breaking the law.
Before a friend or partner, be ashamed of dishonesty.

Before your neighbors, be ashamed of theft.
Be ashamed of breaking a promise,
of leaning on the dinner table with your elbows,
of stinginess when you are asked for something,

of not returning a greeting,
of staring at a prostitute,

of turning down a relative's request,
of depriving someone of what is rightly his,
of staring at another man's wife,

of playing around with his slave woman (keep away from her bed!)
of insulting your friends,
of following up your gifts with criticism,

of betraying secrets."

ON SPOILED ROTTEN DADDY'S GIRLS
Sirach 42:9-13 GNT

"Although he will not let his daughter know it, a father will lie awake at night worrying about her. If she is young, he worries that she might not get married. If she is already married, he worries about her happiness. If she is a virgin, he worries that she might be seduced and become pregnant while living in his house. If she is married, he worries that she might be unfaithful, or that she might not be able to have children. Keep a close watch over your daughter if she is determined to have her own way. If you don't, she may make a fool of you in front of your enemies. You will be a constant joke to everyone in town, a public disgrace. Make sure that her room has no windows or any place where she can look out to the entrance of the house. Don't let her show off her beauty in front of men, or spend her time talking with the women. Women hurt other women just as moths damage clothing."

Priority #2 - My Husband - More on Sirach

I have still been reading the Book of Sirach and how it pertains to wives:

Sirach 40:19-20 (GNT)

"Your name can be preserved if you have children or if you establish a city, but finding Wisdom is a better way. Owning livestock and orchards will make you famous, but it is better to have a wife you love. Wine and music can make you happy, but a happy marriage is even better."

Sirach 40:23 (GNT)

"You can't go wrong with a good friend or neighbor, but an intelligent wife is better than either."

Sirach 7:19 GNT

"Don't miss your chance to marry a wise and good woman. A gracious wife is worth more than gold."

Sirach 7:26 GNT

"If you have a good wife, do not divorce her, but do not trust yourself to someone you don't love."

ON BEING A TRUSTWORTHY WIFE
Sirach 42:6 GNT

"It is wise to lock things up if you cannot trust your wife or if too many people are around."

Any wonder why Proverbs 31:11 AMP says,

"The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil."

?

The book of Sirach also has some very unflattering things to say about women. I will not list them here because I don't want to examine them in the light of today's sociopolitical standards. But these verses on the importance of marrying an intelligent wife and making a happy marriage, these are timeless. :-)

Priority #1 - My God - The Book of Sirach

Friend Hubby and I have been exploring some of the books that were not canonized at the Council of Trent. The books of Enoch and Jasher have been referenced in scripture and Friend Hubby has been enjoying them. I have fallen in love (so far -- haven't read it in entirety) with the book of Sirach.
There are many instances where I feel it is a good companion to the book of Proverbs. Like Proverbs 31, Sirach 26 extols the virtues of a good wife:

Blessed the husband of a good wife, twice-lengthened are his days; A worthy wife brings joy to her husband, peaceful and full is his life. A good wife is a generous gift bestowed upon him who fears the Lord; Be he rich or poor, his heart is content, and a smile is ever on his face.

A gracious wife delights her husband, her thoughtfulness puts flesh on his bones; A gift from the Lord is her governed speech, and her firm virtue is of surpassing worth. Choicest of blessings is a modest wife, priceless her chaste soul. A holy and decent woman adds grace upon grace; indeed, no price is worthy of her temperate soul. Like the sun rising in the Lord’s heavens, the beauty of a virtuous wife is the radiance of her home.

Sirach 29 goes into the downhill spiral of relationship that can take place between borrower and lender.

It is also available on BibleGateway.com in the Good News Translation. In the foot notes, it cross references it with the non-canonized Book of Wisdom and the book of Proverbs in our Bibles as well.

Do you ever get a brain buzz when you learn something new? I am really enjoying this! Not for the sake of knowledge alone, but to learn greater how to apply my heart to wisdom and walk it out in my daily life. THAT is my earnest desire.

Honestly, I was nervous reading these books. Am I going to lose my mind or go blind if I read them? Am I going to be led hopelessly away from my Adonai, never to return? Those are fears that popped into my head the moment I thought to read them. I cannot begin to understand the reasoning of the Council of Trent for not including them our canon of scripture. The great thinkers of the 1600s didn't think they were worth including, but why do we still go by their opinion? Tradition?

I have read that many of the things Yeshua said can be traced back to Sirach. The Apostle Paul quotes from the book of either Enoch or Jasher in Jude. These books would have been known by the rabbis of that day. There are references to them in the Talmud so they would have been used in Yeshua's childhood learning. Why? Why? Why? Am I just nosy? Probably. :-)

I will just keep reading for now, praying for discernment, checking and balancing with the approved canon of texts. Pray for me, I'm going in!

Others of my favorite passages:
Sirach 2:1-6

"My child, if you are going to serve the Lord, be prepared for times when you will be put to the test. Be sincere and determined. Keep calm when trouble comes. Stay with the Lord; never abandon him, and you will be prosperous at the end of your days. Accept whatever happens to you. Even if you suffer humiliation, be patient. Gold is tested by fire, and human character is tested in the furnace of humiliation. Trust the Lord, and he will help you. Walk straight in his ways, and put your hope in him."

Sirach 2:10-11

"Think back to the ancient generations and consider this: has the Lord ever disappointed anyone who put his hope in him? Has the Lord ever abandoned anyone who held him in constant reverence? Has the Lord ever ignored anyone who prayed to him? The Lord is kind and merciful; he forgives our sins and keeps us safe in time of trouble."

Don't you just love these ancient words of wisdom?

A popular song on Christian radio right now quotes Micah 6:8 (I have copied it in Amplified)

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God?"

What does it mean to "walk humbly?"

Sirach 2:4-6 says,

"Accept whatever happens to you. Even if you suffer humiliation, be patient. Gold is tested by fire, and human character is tested in the furnace of humiliation. Trust the Lord, and he will help you. Walk straight in his ways, and put your hope in him."

Here is something else I have come across recently in a book called Shabby Chic: Treasure Hunting & Decorating Guide by Rachel Ashwell. The author is unknown, but the writing was found on something at a garage sale:

HUMILITY

"Humility is perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised; it is to have a blessed home in my self where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and about is trouble."

Blessings,

Priority # 5 - Myself - Getting Myself in Order

Okay so my family finally forced me to give up my pretty pink flip phone that I have had for the past 4 or 5 year (which worked perfectly fine, thank you) and convinced me to get a "smart phone." Right.

So, I am exploring the world of self-help apps and I think I found one that I like. It is called Habit Streak. Scientists say that it takes up to 21 days to develop a habit and since we know that I have been an epic fail at being a FlyBaby, this seems to be helping me to take baby steps toward developing a habit. This the product description from the Android Market:

Track your progress at achieving daily goals. Build streaks to change your life!

✓ Join thousands of users to achieve your goals with Habit Streak.

✓ Habit Streak helps you achieve your goals (or New Year's Resolutions) in exercise, diet or other areas of your life. Each day you report on whether you succeeded yesterday, building up streaks of habits and ingraining the activities into your life.

"After a few days you'll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You'll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain" (Jerry Seinfeld)

Habit Streak has two key advances on Jerry Seinfeld's original technique. Firstly it allows you to build several chains up at once. Secondly it (optionally) prompts you every day to report on your success (whereas one could easily forget to update or look at a physical calendar).

Another app that I am discovering is Cozi. FlyLady is connected to it. At the moment, I am downloading the Zone 4 To Do list onto my phone. It would be of help to be able to check off my square right from my device. We'll see how it works...again.

Here is my problem with developing a new habit.
1. A new idea comes to me.
2. I implement the idea.
3. I am excited about the success of the idea.
4. I modify the idea further.
5. The new modification derails the idea.
6. I give up.

I don't want this comic I found in the Sunday paper to be true of me!


Habakkuk 2:2 AMP gives me two helps for this problem: "And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may [be able to] read [it easily and quickly] as he hastens by."

1. WRITE IT DOWN. If my goal is not written down, no one will know if I give up.
2. THAT EVERYONE WHO PASSES BY MAY BE ABLE TO READ IT. Be accountable. Since Cozi is shared with my family, they see what my goals are. They can encourage me and may even come up with their own goals with which I may encourage them.

Let's see if technology can help give me a boost in achieving my goals.

I also made a list of chore charts for my children as well. They are similar to mine. They, however, are typed up on paper and hung on the outside of their bathroom door. This way Friend Hubby can see if they are meeting their goals as well.



Continuing in my study of YHWH and His establishment of time, this Sunday will mark the beginning of the Hebrew month of Chislev, a New Moon. I think one of the things that I love about learning about our Hebraic roots is that there is ALWAYS a new beginning. New beginnings are tied to creation. It speaks of our great salvation, being born again. When the light becomes dim, a day is born again (and the evening and the morning were the first day). When the sun goes down on Friday (Sabbath), the new week has begun. When the moon can no longer be seen, the beginning of the next Hebrew month is just a day away. When we bring all of our sins to the surface (the darkest parts of heart) and repent (Yom Kippur), the new year Rosh Hashanna is about to begin. For all eternity, we will be on our Heavenly Father's time schedule:

"And it shall be that from one New Moon to another New Moon and from one Sabbath to another Sabbath, all flesh shall come to worship before Me, says the Lord." Isaiah 66:23 AMP

The New Moon festivals were often associated with women. Why? Because within our bodies, we carry a cycle. Throughout time, women have kept time for our families. (Thus my efforts to find apps applicable for that purpose). Man's time leads to death. We don't think we need sleep, or rest, or to eat at certain intervals. We want to plant crops when that are out of season and find the fountain of youth. We have been in rebellion to YHWH's time since the beginning of time. Everything YHWH has given us has been to prolong our time on earth (i.e., the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath).

Learning to move in sync with Heaven has been such an awesome journey for me!

Blessings,

Priority #6 - My Ministry - Girl Scouts versus American Heritage Girls versus Keepers at Home

Our pastor in Okinawa used to always say, "Don't just give your children a head knowledge, also give them a hand knowledge."

I guess that's kind of how I feel about Girl Scouts right now. The whole program has been revamped. I don't think the girls of 1912 would recognize the badges of 2012. I have had several conversations with others involved in Girl Scouts this year about all the changes. What it boils down to for me is the difference between teaching our girls to be consumers, versus teaching them to be producers.

I recently read an article for Girlfriends in God called "Grandma's Inheritance." While reminiscing about her summers with her grandma, this caught my attention:

During my weeks with Grandma, there were no trips to fast-food restaurants or shopping sprees at the mall. That’s just not what grandmas were for. So what did I do for seven days? I did what Grandma did (except dip snuff). I made biscuits, shelled lima beans, canned vegetables for the following winter, and learned how to sew.

I SO want my girls to have these skills, not because I expect them to always grow up and be stay-at-home moms, but because there is therapy in creating things with your hands or in participating in creation with YHWH. There is wisdom in keeping your hands busy and your mouth shut. Over the course of my adulthood, I have been paid to make a mini Thanksgiving dinner, to sew on military patches, and of course for 20 years I financed our homeschooling as a cake decorator. My daughter in college has made money sewing hemlines for other girls in her dorm, even though I never got around to teaching her to sew clothing by a pattern (yet). She keeps some of her frozen meat in the dorm kitchen rather than in her room because she knows the other girls don't know how to cook and won't bother it.

I'm coming into a difficult season for me emotionally. It always happens right after Thanksgiving. It is difficult to shake, but I work hard trying to get through it. Having a craft or something to do with my hands, something to teach my children to do, would help. While we were making Thanksgiving dinner, I pulled an empty jar out of the pantry, poured in the rest of a carton of heavy whipping cream and a touch of salt (From a failed attempt to make a chocolate marble cheesecake for Friend Hubby's birthday - it was so terrible, he thought it was a gag gift. Note to self--only bake from cookbook recipes. Leave the untested internet recipes alone!) Anyway, we put the cream in the jar with a clean marble and all took turns shaking it. Voila! Home churned butter. I'm afraid there's no Girl Scout badge for that.





I've been looking into American Heritage Girls.

"American Heritage Girls is a nonprofit organization dedicated to the mission of building women of integrity through service to God, family, community, and country."

The last word I heard on American Heritage Girls was that they were full. I would not give up my Girl Scout troop, but it would be interesting for Princess Butterfly to be a part of both. I even told my co-leader about it the other day. She and I agree that we will just run our troop according to how WE want, not with all this new (and may I say TOTALLY unorganized) practices that Girl Scouts have taken up.

Another idea I have is to just break out the old Keepers at Home Handbook from when Dancing Angel and My Diva were young girls and go from there. Princess Butterfly is quite the baker now, but there are still other skills I'd like her to have. They make charm bracelets with silver and gold charms for the girl to earn depending on their proficiency with the skill. Looking down the table of contents, I can see that my girls had earned:

Creative Skills

• Candlewicking
• Counted Cross Stitch
• Decoupage
• Latch Hooking
• Pressed Flowers
• Rubber Stamping
• Scrapbooking

Homemaking

• Cake Decorating
• Cooking
• Scheduling
  
• Soapmaking

Knowledge and Skills

• Library
• Literature
• Sign Language

Nature

• Wildflowers

Others

• Etiquette
  
• Friends
• Special Needs

There are still other categories that they didn't earn awards in, such as Recreational Activities and Biblical Girlhood, and those listed above were just what they actually EARNED. There are so many more that are not listed here. Hmmm. Does it seem to you as if I have found the answer to my conundrum? Well, I did say that blogging was a place where I could think out loud.

The sad thing about it is that I remember when all of these skills were a part of the Girl Scout program. I remember when My Diva, every year, would be the only one from her troop to attend an event called Etiquette Arts where she got to dress up and go and eat at a fancy restaurant downtown with our Girl Scout council. When I was a Girl Scout, I learned sign language and was able to assist with a deaf and blind troop in our area.

I REFUSE to allow Princess Butterfly's girlhood to take place from behind a computer screen in the name of STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics), and if my co-leader and I have anything to say about it, neither will our troop.

Blessings,

Priority #4 - My Home - Thanksgiving

This was the Thanksgiving that almost didn't happen. Friend Hubby is the head chef for this yearly meal and for weeks now he has been saying he just wasn't feelin' it. We have been on the edge of our seats in anticipation. Finally, while we were sitting in the car, he called a friend who has been gracing our table for many years and told her that Thanksgiving was on. What? I had to hear about it through an eavesdropped conversation? You know he was soundly rebuked for that. LOL! We had just been to the military commissary and I think all the prep displays got to him. We're just thankful it did! It would have been a sad year without it.

We understand that it is NOT one of YHWH's feast days. We are not trying to replace Sukkot or the Feast of Booths with this American tradition, but this is just a celebration of gratitude, like the father of the prodigal son held. It is a time to catch up with old friends, laugh and play games.

When we were in Okinawa, our entire church went camping for Thanksgiving. What GREAT memories we have of that! We hope to start going camping every year for Sukkot. That will be a wonderful new tradition to begin.

Our Thanksgiving menu has long been the merging of two cultures. Friend Hubby is from the east coast. Traditionally, his Thanksgiving consisted of baked macaroni and cheese, collard greens, candied yams, rice, and of course, turkey with sweet potato pie for dessert. I'm from the midwest and our Thanksgiving included corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie as well. We compromise, adding elements of both, along with my homemade cornbread dressing that is the nemesis to my diet every year.

I have a friend who is Vietnamese, married to a Jamaican. Her Thanksgiving menu is entirely different from ours.

Where are you from and what is your menu?

Blessings,

Priority #3 - My Children - Mama Bear

Hosea 13:8 AMP, "I will meet them like a bear that is robbed of her cubs, and I will rend the covering of their heart, and there will I devour them like a lioness, as a wild beast would tear them."

I love that verse, because I know how protective I am of my children. It shows me how protective He is over His children (especially the disobedient ones).

This was a conversation I had with one of my children recently.

ME: Okay, but remember that anything that affects your well being causes an autonomic response in my nervous system that releases 6 inch claws from each of my fingers, turns my teeth into fangs, and causes animalistic predatory instinct to kick in beyond my control.

MY CHILD: So you are... a werewolf?

ME: I am a mom. The claws and fangs are standard issue equipment. They automatically deploy when your child faces any danger, perceived or real. The quantity of love you carry in your heart for them directly affects the response time of the claws and fangs' deployment.

Alas, the ability to be omnipresent was not standard issue equipment (intuition is the closest thing to it and of course, we have the ability to make them THINK we might be able to see them from everywhere, LOL). So I have no choice but to trust the One who placed them in my care.

And why do they have such an effect on us? They're absolutely gross! I've been peed on, boo booed on, thrown up on, sneezed on. At any given moment, they may give off a foul odor. They put buggars in their mouths and Lord knows what else. They won't sleep when you sleep. They communicate by tears and whining and treat you like a hired servant. They demand all of your attention and your time. They have no appreciation whatsoever for fine strands of pearls or brand new houses with white carpet. That's only toddlerhood.

When they become teens, you get to do it all over again only emotionally instead of physically. They are schizophrenic and you never know what side of the bed they're going to wake up on. They tell you all their problems then tell you that you don't understand them. They eat all the wrong things and all the sleep they wouldn't do when they were babies, they try to do now. They communicate by tears and whining and treat you like a hired servant. They demand all of your attention and your time (did I say that already?). I am certain, we would never tolerate that behavior from another human being in the world.

But somehow or another, we can't seem to extricate ourselves from their grip. Their successes become our successes, their failures our failures, their disappointments our disappointments. We are constant co-competitors in the three-legged race of life. The single helpless look in our direction is enough to melt our hearts and run to their aid. We will work all night long to sew costumes, too see if the medicine is working, and do anything in our power to hear the words, "Thanks, Mom."

A friend shared a blog called "I Take Joy" this blog on Facebook and it blessed me on a day where I was feeling particularly low as a mom. She says, "But, as moms, we must hope that the voices in our children’s heads that come from us speak to them of our unconditional love for them, our belief in their dreams, validation of God’s call on their lives, encouraging words that give life to their souls."

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. As arrows are in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy, blessed, and fortunate is the man whose quiver is filled with them! They will not be put to shame when they speak with their adversaries [in gatherings] at the [city's] gate." Psalm 127:3-5 AMP

My children are captivating, but are also my captors, but you know, I wouldn't have it any other way.