Through skillful and godly Wisdom is a house (a life, a home, a family) built, and by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation]. And by knowledge shall its chambers [of every area] be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4 AMP
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Much Afraid and her Constant Companions Sorrow and Suffering
Priority #1 - My Relationship with My Creator, Elohim
"How happy the man whose strength is in you, in whose heart are [pilgrim] highways." Psalm 84:5 CJB
Have you ever read Hind's Feet on High Places? Sometimes I feel as if I am the protagonist Much Afraid and my companions, Sorrow and Suffering. The prophet Isaiah, in Isa. 53:3 CJB describes the then-coming Messiah as, "People despised and avoided him, a man of pains, well acquainted with illness. Like someone from whom people turn their faces, he was despised; we did not value him."
On top of my grief for my mother, I have to add isolation, betrayal, slander, and just plain foolishness. When my daughter died, it took me a while to get to the point where I asked the Lord, "Why me?" His answer came swiftly. "Why not you? Do you think that sorrow and suffering are something that happens to everyone BUT you?" I accepted my rebuke, but I agree with the psalmist in Psalm 55:4-8 CJB, "My heart within me is pounding in anguish, the terrors of death press down on me, fear and trembling overwhelm me, horror covers me. I said, "I wish I had wings like a dove! Then I could fly away and be at rest. Yes, I would flee to a place far off, I would stay in the desert. (Selah) I would quickly find me a shelter from the raging wind and storm.
I have not had much sleep. I pray for a good night's rest and prayer in the morning.
Priority #2 - My Relationship with My Husband
Friend Hubby introduced us to a great study today in service about the Hebrew roots of some biblical words that have either been translated wrongly or without the depth of the true meaning. Here is the introductory video:
He also share some on getting those middle of the night calls by the Holy Spirit to get up and pray. I'm going to try to spend more time praying and interceding for him this week. As knowledge and revelation have increased, so have attacks from the enemy. I am finding new life in the scripture Isaiah 54:17 AMP, "But no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall show to be in the wrong. This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord [those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced]; this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me [this is that which I impart to them as their justification], says the Lord." LOVE THIS!!!
Priority #3 - My Children
Psalm 127:4-5 "As arrows are in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy, blessed, and fortunate is the man whose quiver is filled with them! They will not be put to shame when they speak with their adversaries [in gatherings] at the [city's] gate."
In spite of the circumstances, I'm glad that all my children were present for my mother's funeral. I'm glad of the way they conducted themselves in the face of relatives that don't speak and want to continue to propagate lies against our family. I will pray more this week for forgiveness for all of us and that the Lord will help us heal from the painful memories of that season.
The first thing that I need to try to do is to establish regular sleep times, ideally in bed by 11 p.m. and awake at 7 a.m. (which I have already busted).
Priority #5 - Myself
I need a lot of emotional healing. I need to lose myself in a hobby or a project so that I can focus, when the time comes, on work and my family.
Priority #6 - My Ministry
I start a new job this week so I will have 1 account in the morning and 1 account in the evening. I pray that Adonai will help me to be faithful on both of them. Unfortunately, my iPod died so I will not be able to listen to teachings about this week's Torah portion, but hopefully, I will at least be able to listen to Daily Audio Bible to help me sleep Daily Audio Proverb as I do my morning routine.